As a first time mom, I did all the studying I could in hopes
of being better prepared to face the challenges that come during pregnancy,
labor and delivery, breastfeeding, and caring for a newborn. I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I
downloaded the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” app and consulted it
daily. I read every paper my doctor gave me at my prenatal checkups. I took the
classes offered at my local hospital. I listened to all the advice I got from
other mothers. I pinned about seven different hospital bag checklists from
Pinterest and I had my bags packed as soon as I knew what to put in them.
I remember telling my husband that perhaps I should make a
list of what to grab when it’s “go time” so I wouldn’t forget them when it was
time. This list would have things like my toothbrush/toothpaste, makeup, makeup
remover, deodorant and all those little toiletries I couldn’t really pack yet
because I still needed them every day. My sweet mom knew how worried I was
about this so she even made me a “Birthday Bag” that contained all those little
things and many of the things women say you might want during the hours of
labor and your hospital stay. I thought I was as ready as I would ever get.
In all my preparation I even searched articles like “10 Things I didn’t Know About Pregnancy,” “What No One Tells You About Labor”. In all
honesty, I had an awesome pregnancy with very little sickness and even fewer
complications. My labor and delivery were also awesome and I had an experience
that most first time moms would probably hate me for. The one thing I wasn’t nearly enough prepared
for postpartum recovery. I even had padsicles in the freezer awaiting my return
from the hospital. Oh how I wish I would have searched for articles warning me
of what no one else had about postpartum recovery.
So let’s get down to business. What I wish I would’ve known about postpartum recovery:
1.
You’ll
still be waddling: At eight and nine months pregnant you’ll be waddling
around with that cute, oversized basketball under your shirt and you’ll get the
excited and sympathetic smiles of others when you’re out in public. After that
cute oversized basketball finally makes his appearance, well, you’ll still be
waddling. The difference is you’ll finally be able to see your toes again and
when you can see your toes and you’re still waddling, people won’t give you
that sympathetic smile anymore. Instead, they’ll stare at you as if you’re a
maimed duck that just needs put out of its misery.
2. Abdomen muscles are useless: In the
hospital, I became so frustrated because it was so difficult to sit up. I remember getting mad at myself and
thinking, “What’s wrong with you? You just dropped an eight pound child out of
your stomach and you act like it’s still so hard to get around!” But seriously,
it was still a feat and was for a few more weeks. Those abdomen muscles you
used to be so fond of are now stretched out, loose, weak, and probably resemble
the tentacles of a jellyfish. This makes it so hard to sit up on your own and
to even move your legs. Every time I had to readjust to get comfortable, or get
up to go to the bathroom my husband or the nurses had to come swing my legs off
the side of my bed, and pull my arms to help me sit up. Until those muscles
have a few weeks to recover, it is still tough stuff.
3. It hurts! If you had a vaginal delivery
and any sort of tearing… It hurts. Not just when the delivery and tearing
happen, but I mean afterwards. It hurts to laugh. It hurts to cough. It hurts
to sneeze. It hurts to sit in the car. It hurts to even look at a wooden
barstool or metal chair, let alone to try sitting on it. It hurts to wear jeans
or any other restrictive pants until that swelling goes down. It just hurts.
4. You’ll still look like you’re pregnant: I
actually was prepared for this and had heard that after delivery your stomach
wouldn’t immediately go back to normal. When I packed my hospital bag the list
I consulted said to pack a loose fitting outfit to come home in since you will
probably still be the size you were around your sixth month mark. I was
prepared for that, however, I was NOT prepared for my twin brother commenting about
my bathrobe hardly being able to zip closed, while I was still in the hospital.
It did feel good to know though that he was equally as unprepared for the slug
in the gut he got immediately following his remark.
5.
Stomach
sleeping: still a bad idea. I love sleeping on my stomach, but when I first
found out I was pregnant I knew it was only a matter of time until my stomach
grew to the size of a watermelon making it impossible for me to sleep on it. In
anticipation of that, I immediately forced myself to sleep on my side. As I
neared my last few weeks of pregnancy I told my husband how excited I was to
finally be able to sleep on my stomach again. Imagine my surprise to find out
that my watermelon stomach was soon replaced by two cantaloupes above it
instead. Not only was it still terribly uncomfortable to sleep on my stomach,
but the added pressure on those cantaloupes can cause plugged ducts if you’re
nursing. And plugged ducts….whew wee, give me back the labor contractions if I
can avoid the pain of a plugged duct ever again.
6. Hair shedding: I remembered hearing
from cousins and other people that after they had babies they lost a lot of
hair and that their hair used to be thick until they had babies. My hair is
naturally super thick to begin with. In the first few weeks after having my
baby when I didn’t immediately lose clumps of hair in the shower, I thought
that this was maybe just another thing I wouldn’t have to worry about or deal with.
Then I hit about the four-month mark after giving birth and BAM, I thought I
was going bald for sure. I suddenly started leaving behind three times as much
hair in the shower. The laundry came out of the dryer with hairballs in every
load. And my vacuum, my poor poor vacuum, it has never seen so much hair. When
I finally got around to my first haircut after giving birth I mentioned this to
my stylist and she said that losing hair around the fourth month postpartum was
actually pretty natural.
7. Lingering linea nigra: To be fair, I
had actually heard that this dark line that appears on some women’s stomachs during
pregnancy can last long after they give birth. I had heard that for some women
this line even lasts eight months after delivery. I had hoped that maybe mine
would disappear somewhere around four months and that maybe I would be lucky.
Well, my baby turned seven months old last week and I’m still sporting my linea
nigra. Though I will add that it has faded and becomes less noticeable with
each passing week.
WARNING: The following thing I
wish I would have known, is perhaps a little bit questionable on who should
read it. It is not graphic, but if you’re worried it might be too much
information, skip number eight.
8. Your hoo-ha will return to normal: I
remember being so worried that after my little lady parts popped out an eight
pound baby they would just never be the same, and that meant that life between
the sheets wouldn’t be the same either.
I must say, I was sorely mistaken and sorely naïve about this aspect of
recovery. Those little lady parts were built to withstand childbearing and when
that child is born those little ladies get going right back to where they
should be and they do a mighty fine job of getting back there. Maybe even too
good of a job. I’ll leave it at that.
There
you have it. The things I wish I would’ve known about postpartum recovery. If
you know anyone who is pregnant share this with them in hopes that they will be
a little more prepared than I was. Thanks for reading!
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